plonkers

So on my way out this morning to have a cycle, as I was putting on a Polar heart rate monitor, which wraps around the chest, dear child says

I didn’t understand what he was talking about. Dear wife worked it out. Dear child was talking about the chest strap being the same as his reigns that we put on him!

Parking plonker’s child was stood on their door step as we walking into town and shouted:

The mother then shouted

There’s one thing worse than being talked out, it’s not being talked about. This can’t be normal behaviour.

We were pushing dear child around in town, I was talking to dear wife in a shop. Next thing we know dear child has located a bag of sweets from under the pushchair and held them up to his face like a holy grail and said

We quickly took them away.